Health is one of those subjects which most young, fit, healthy people don’t even register: the frequent calls to arms about conditions in nursing homes. MRSA… doesn’t apply to me. NHS reform… could it get any more boring? But the day will come, my youthful friends, when your back will ache, your liver will wither, your love handles will multiply and you will no longer be able to put your leg behind your ear… oops I never could do that… And when that day comes, we in Britain (if it still exists: see below) will thank our chosen deities for the awesome institution that is the NHS.

Consider that in the US, the most parlous example, you would expect to pay health insurance equivalent to your rent. Even in Germany, one of Europe’s enduringly ‘generous’ welfare states, personal health insurance is obligatory. In New Zealand, where I come from, GP visits cost around $30(£10). But in the utopia that is the UK in 2007, the state pays for my contraception (thank you!!!), my GP visits and my smear tests and whatever other treatment that might lead to.

Which leads us to this article in the Independent: 30% of young women (that persistently irresponsible group in society) are failing to take up their (free!) smear tests on the NHS. While such utter recklessness may seem hard to believe, it has been suggested to me that if men were obliged to have smear tests, then doctors would find a less ignominious and uncomfortable way of carrying it out than by shoving what feels like a cold pair of metal salad servers up… yes, well, you get the idea.

Let’s help out the beleaguered NHS by taking responsibility for our own shelf life, as far as we’re able: get thee to a gym, a vege market, or at least stop complaining about the imminent smoking ban. Long live collectivisation!

Filed under: health on January 22nd, 2007